I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
