sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
