i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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