Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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