Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
