Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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