you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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