I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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