Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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