I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize