We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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