My underwear smells like fireworks.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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