you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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