No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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