Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
