He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
