just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
