hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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