ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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