Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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