Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize