My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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