i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
