I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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