Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
