Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
