so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Holy sore nipples Batman
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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