You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
