I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
