So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude i'm inner monologue high
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
