he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
