so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Welp...herpes.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
