there was a trapeze. enough said
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
