So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
