All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
