Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
