I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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