Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
