he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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