that's an acceptable place to lick
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
