I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
