carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this boner is exhausting
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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