I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
