Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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