They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
