dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
