Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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