You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
