Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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