Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize