pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This is classic penis vs brain.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
