Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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