woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
