Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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