I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish you could order shots online.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
