Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
