I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
