i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ladies don't puke and tell
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
