I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize