Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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