i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
