Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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