It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize