Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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