omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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